Dental Delight
In a quite tedious waiting room with an even more monotonous colour scheme, Orgina, a Montmartre blondinette in her early 30s, sits nervously in a chair. On the wall, comically oversized toothbrushes and grinning middle-aged men's teeth.
With a whispered conversation with herself, Orgina contemplates the predicament she has gotten herself into once again.
The door swings open, revealing Dr. Blublisch, a dubious-looking dentist with an inquisitive little smile.
DR. BLUBLISCH: Adequate morning, Orgina. So, what seems to be the problem today?
ORGINA: Um, yes, Dr. Blublisch. I suppose I have a problem. My gums and the part behind my teeth. They are swollen, you see. Oh, and my teeth. They're rotting. It terribly hurts.
The dentist prepares his tools. Then he proceeds into Orgina's mouth and almost immediately jumps out of his chair. Puzzled and perplexed. And then, after a long brief pause...
DR. BLUBLISCH: (holding his scalpel as if his life depended on it, horrified) Mademoiselle Orgina. I, I, I think your mouth is on fire. Pardon, I mean, your upper palate is completely deteriorated. It looks as if... it has been through significant pressure. Therefore your teeth have been firmly pushed through the exterior as if they had to be forced to make room for something else.
Orgina panics. Her eyes rolled like Buggs Bunny's. No possible plausible explanation in sight.
"What the hell do I tell him now? How could I justify this? What excuse could I possibly dare to have?"
She hits a wall, trapped, with no escape. She abruptly starts sweating. Sweating oceans of shame and disgrace.
Flashbacks flood her mind, reminding her of that scandalous night. The night she had brought home two well-endowed men, fulfilling her dreams of being a porn star. She engaged in a decadent menage a trois, proudly performing in front of her neighbours through the window. She had explored new boundaries, even attempting a fateful double fellatio, believing she had achieved something no porn star had done before. However, these experiences had taken a toll on her dental health, as her teeth had started to decay, resembling carnivorous plants consuming her insides.
Normally, the memory of that scandalous night would bring a mischievous twinkle to her eye. But now, she must face the consequences. Her limited intellect fails to come up with a believable explanation.
And straightforwardly, just like that, she vomits it out.
ORGINA: Well, you see, Dr Blublisch, I recently found myself in a rather compromising position with two gentlemen. I performed a certain job on them, both of them. I mean, simultaneously. The two of them, you see. You see, let's say,... I mean, it was more intense than usual.
Dr. Blublisch is beyond astounded. It's hard enough to process such shocking data quickly enough to engage in a professional setting, let alone the big why of how on earth, a woman, person, whatever could possibly have the nerve to even say such outer worldly things out loud, at a dentist's office of all places!
Unable to respond to this absurd confession, he determines to focus on the task at hand. Leaning closer to Orgina, he intends to make a precise incision.
A sudden jolt of unease ripples through his body. A split second of distraction impregnated with PTSD, causes his fingers to loosen their grip on the scalpel. He watches in horror as the instrument slips from his grasp. In the most far-fetched mathematical probability, the scalpel descends with pinpoint accuracy piercing Orgina's beating heart, killing her.
Stripped of his professional title and branded as a criminal, Dr. Blublisch finds himself confined within the desolate walls of a prison cell.
The reality of his situation settles in. The echoes of disbelief still reverberated in his mind, unable to comprehend how his life had spiralled so drastically out of control.
The whispers of sexual abuse allegations against him had tainted furthermore his reputation, and the justice system had failed to see the truth behind that fateful slip.
As the sun sets on Dr. Blublisch's unjust imprisonment, a twist of fate catapults him into the world of stand-up comedy. Word spreads about his outlandish dental disasters and his tragic slip-up with Orgina, making him an unexpected sensation in the comedy circuit.
Dr. Blublisch takes to the stage. In a cruel twist of fate, Orgina's scandalous night becomes a punchline in the former dentist’s routine.
The media dubs him the "Accidental Dentist Comedian," and his stand-up specials top the charts. Oprah Winfrey retweets his jokes, despite the woke climate, making him an international sensation.
Summer is a strange man who always experiences schadenfreude when others are miserable. Or dead.
